I did a thing

no, I mean

wow this is a little bit nerve wracking to talk about. I decided to give into the porn industry that has haunted me since childhood and start an only fans!

wait, what?

it’s not what you think. For me, OF felt like the right platform to gateway content that I wanted to keep strictly over 18. This isn’t porn, it’s an activation for sensual femininity and divine presence in daily life.
my rule: I’m not posting anything I wouldn’t post to the ‘gram anyway. I have posted tasteful nudes but they’re there to evoke a feeling.

that being said, I believe that only fans is less exploitative than what we had pre-OF, where “pretty” girls were lured into unsafe modelling arrangements, and often given drugs by much older men.

maybe a deep dive into sacred sexuality is a way to heal both myself and other creators out there who have been victim of people in the adult industry.

I am not ashamed. I survived!

this content is a deep dive into some very beautiful poetry by Lorin Roche, called The Radiance Sutras. These poems are a reimagining of the sacred “Vijnana Bhairava”, which is a dialogue between the cosmic lovers Bhairava and Bhairavi, as they ask and answer the question: how do I enter an enlightened mindset through my senses?

this is the practice, because we cannot abandon our lives or be enlightened. To heal, to move, to grow, it must be and, not or. I have to be able to enjoy my matcha latte and know that I am everything in the Universe. I have to endure misogyny and know my soul is free and boundless love. I have to be triggered by painful memories and expand into joy through rage.

sound like your vibe? We start in February (probably towards the end, I am type B, sorry not sorry)

if you’ve been lurking here you’ll know that I am not a “grind girlie”.

In my 20s I still just about had the drive to push and push and push and had I the skills and knowledge I do now, my marketing and work ethic would be very different.

I would go to events, network and trade shows and yoga shows and I would be all about connecting.

if you are looking for a teacher who lives a fast paced life I am not that girl. I am slow girlie, I have been chronically ill and though I have a deep desire to help everyone my body and mind won’t permit me to do the leg work. So it’s about working smarter, not harder.

over the next week you’ll see a few books by moi crop up on Amazon. They are self-published books perfect if you love a quiet moment with a coffee or matcha, if you’re always off on a trip or catch yourself with some small free time and wish you could spend it in an intentional and healthy way.

these puzzle books, which have been sort of floating and published and unpublished are now finalised and I’m really happy with them. One of them is designed for chronic or acute insomniacs, to help self soothe in anxiety spirals in the darkest nights. The other is specifically for people with an intermediate to advanced knowledge in yoga, movement therapy or somatic therapy.

these are the lowest cost options to work with me, and come to I think £12 each in the UK. If they do well, I will continue to write endlessly.

what are they?

these have brain teasers and puzzles with micro-meditation practices and mindfulness prompts. They also have some beautiful illustrations to colour in (not mine unfortunately but in the future I will definitely work on that!)