everyone talks about losing a person. we can recognise grief where there has been a death, or in the case of a relationship, a visible loss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
but grief is a tricky emotion to work with. often it masquerades as grumpy, depressed, angry or even hyper-focused or fixated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
nobody talks about the grief that comes when your life is shaken up when a lie is exposed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
it strips back the relationships that rest on those foundations, and you can start to feel and be very isolated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
so why don\u2019t we talk about it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
it is not for shame, but, I think,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
the weariness that comes in anticipation of having to change everything, even if your life is primed for that anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
nobody really talks about how to grieve your own life plans either, of your hopes and dreams and how people weave into that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
but it can feel a lot like the same – <\/p>\n\n\n\n
like jumping into freezing cold water only to feel your lungs constrict and there\u2019s no way you could breathe even if you remembered how<\/p>\n\n\n\n
for a moment<\/p>\n\n\n\n
then it\u2019s like, back into the normal quotidian <\/p>\n\n\n\n
the mundane, the routine<\/p>\n\n\n\n
the same old same old<\/p>\n\n\n\n
except, everything has changed<\/p>\n\n\n\n
and your whole future is gone in a heartbeat<\/p>\n\n\n\n
and it never existed<\/p>\n\n\n\n
and neither did you really<\/p>\n\n\n\n
shaped by people who never really were what they said they were<\/p>\n\n\n\n
cold plunge, airless shock<\/p>\n\n\n\n
back to housework, make dinner, fold laundry<\/p>\n\n\n\n
rest, repeat<\/p>\n\n\n\n
continue walking ahead but there\u2019s nothing there anymore<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
this has been my experience a few unfortunate times<\/p>\n\n\n\n
the deeper levels of unwinding someone else\u2019s deception takes a very palpable toll on the health<\/p>\n\n\n\n
if this is you <\/p>\n\n\n\n
lay in bed<\/p>\n\n\n\n
rest<\/p>\n\n\n\n
breathe<\/p>\n\n\n\n
eat something <\/p>\n\n\n\n
don\u2019t drink all the wine<\/p>\n\n\n\n
life breathes new life into you as you live it <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
everyone talks about losing a person. we can recognise grief where there has been a death, or in the case of a relationship, a visible loss. but grief is a tricky emotion to work with. often it masquerades as grumpy, depressed, angry or even hyper-focused or fixated. nobody talks about the grief that comes when […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1922","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jazminali.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1922","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jazminali.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jazminali.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jazminali.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jazminali.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1922"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/jazminali.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1922\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1923,"href":"https:\/\/jazminali.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1922\/revisions\/1923"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jazminali.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1922"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jazminali.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1922"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jazminali.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1922"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}